Oh, the weather is getting frightful / Netflix is so delightful / Since being cold and single is rough / Let us cuff, let us cuff, let us cuff
The internet wins again! Friday I worked from home and was enjoying my weekly dose of daytime TV, when Adrienne Houghton on The Real informed me that there is a “Cuffing Season” application available on the internets. Chile, I thought she was joking—
Behold! This is real. Oh yes—this is a printable PDF!
You can download the application here.
No longer do you need to scroll through your phone and send that “Hey big head” text. You can now easily vet new boos with this short but comprehensive application. They will provide you the critical details of their availability (cue Sza), current relationship status (“is you single or nah?”), sexual appetite (big ol’ freak?) and if they have any drama with their baby mama/baby daddy (ain’t nobody got time for that!) and you can determine if they’re suitable for the role.
Simply post this application to all of your social media platforms –including LinkedIn. Email it to all of your contacts and tell your peeps to refer a friend. Pass it out at the mall, the bar, the club, Trader Joe’s, or the Walmart in a self- addressed and stamped envelope. Let folks know you’re hiring.
Winter is coming.
